Friday, January 29, 2016

A. Spokesman

Xerox

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"We're happy that he is in support of it, but he had nothing to do with the initiation, the contemplation, the analysis, or any discussion around the deal. We are happy that he is in agreement with it, but he did not drive it, as is being reported in the news."  (We drove it ourselves because we knew Carl, Nelson or one of the others would eventually ring our doorbell.)

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A. Spokesman

Pershing

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"We do not believe that our investment performance in 2015 was primarily due to unforced errors, but rather due mostly to the market’s reappraisal of our holdings without a corresponding material diminution in their intrinsic value.”  (It's not our fault the market is not as smart as we are.)

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

A. Spokesman

AIG

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“There are no sacred cows and we mean that."  (But there is one braying jackass, and he means to scare us down a reckless path.)