Monday, November 27, 2017

A. Spokesman

CFPB

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"As Acting Director, I am filing this lawsuit to stand up for the CFPB."  (As Acting Director, I am  using a last-ditch technical maneuver to slow down the inevitable gutting of the CFPB.)

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

A. Spokesman

Uber

  • #notonmywatch
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“None of this should have happened, and I will not make excuses for it. While I can’t erase the past, I can commit on behalf of every Uber employee that we will learn from our mistakes." (We're disclosing all our embarrassing secrets early in my tenure so that they will been pinned on previous management.)

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

A. Spokesman

AT&T

  • #quackslikeaduck
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“There’s been a lot of reporting and speculation about whether this all about CNN and frankly I don’t know. But nobody should be surprised that the question keeps coming up because we witnessed such an abrupt change in the application of antitrust law here.” (We don't know if it's politically motivated, but we like that it appears so.)